Friday, April 18, 2008

Why Blog?

So why do I want to do a blog? Well, duh! Become an internationally famous writer with legions of fans hanging on my every post who think I’m the most insightful, erudite, lovable guy they have ever met in cyberspace.

But seriously, I just need to write. Whether anybody ever reads this or not, I just need to write my thoughts down. I love playing with words and editing my thoughts. And the possibility that someone might read it makes it waaay more fulfilling and meaningful than just writing in my diary.

Oh… and I’m unemployed and have way too much time my hands.

My inspiration is Joe My God because he seems wise, humble, insightful and succinct. Though I admire his writing, I can’t promise any of these qualities since I have limited self-discipline.

I also much prefer textual interaction to actually having to meet and talk to people. Its been “diagnosed” as social anxiety which is a good description since any type of social setting creates anxiety for me. But more simply stated, I’m just shy. Always have been, probably always will be, even though I’ve spent years in therapy and tried various pharmaceutical products to get rid of it. The only drug that seems to work is alcohol, but we all know where that leads.

So I’ve just learned to accept that I don’t enjoy social engagements and stopped punishing myself too much. Trying to find a happy medium of maintaining contact with the world, while not creating stress by trying to fight who I am. Coming from a long line of farmers who lived in relative isolation and only had to see people once a week at church, I feel like I’ve made huge strides just by living in a people-packed metropolis and having a relatively “normal” modern urban life.

With that said, I’ve avoided working because of the stress of dealing with people. Which brings me back to on of the reasons I started this blog. I’ve got time on my hands.

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